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13-Mar-2020 14:21

But that very attitude will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This is why you must have the right attitude about the situation.

Others guys are able to date multiple women but think the only way to do it is by keeping it a secret.

They’ll put all kinds of effort in to making sure no girl finds out about the others.

"Sophie used to go with one boy Friday, another Saturday, and another on Monday."My sister and I exchanged looks. (Although, I guess she broke for Sunday, so there was that.)I don't know if it's because of Cameron Crowe movies or disease panic or protracted adolescence, but my generation believed that when you really liked somebody, you should like them solely and exclusively, even obsessively. I know guys who date multiple women like they're filling out an elimination bracket, and I know guys who date multiple women because they get easily bored by one set of nipples.

If a guy gave you a mix CD of Radiohead songs because it felt like giving you "a pint of his own blood," and then he gave girl a pint of his own blood, it sort of cheapens the gesture. More and more people I know prefer dating a bunch of people to one; you can be suspended in a kind of single-but-not animation that used to be reserved for old bachelors of indeterminate sexual orientation, and not be considered a jerky health risk.

Now some guys might object to these points, thinking “no girl is going to be okay with this”.

Blurting "I want to see other people" over first date calamari can come off as dismissive, so wait until it feels natural.

Let her know you're not looking for a girlfriend around the same time you'd tell her you had a terminal disease.2. There's a difference between honestly and total transparency.

Tell a girl that you're seeing other people, don't tell a girl that you don't want to see again.3. A good rule of thumb is to always act as though you're having an affair.

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Avoid friending women you date, and definitely don't, like, Tumblr pictures of you making snow angels with a girl if you're supposed to get hot cider with another that evening (in this scenario it is winter and you are charming! Don't ever give away your location—check in to a martini bar on Four Square and you might as well have posted, "Greg just became the Mayor of Another Woman's Vagina."4. If you've found a girl who's okay with your tomcatting, congrats!

It both creates unnecessary stress and is wildly unfair to the women. But dating multiple women at the same time is possible in a way that’s both respectable and stress-free.